Social network

I have few social network accounts

And it starts to bother me now

Why am I having few but not only one?

I started to try to escape from one to another one

From the most populated one to the less populated one. 

In the end I find out

what I need is only privacy

but still I need someone to see and share my life

It's soooooooooooooo

It's like having split personalities.

I have no idea what exactly I want

I've been counting so much that sometimes I even lose myself.

Isn't it nice to just being yourself sometimes?

But not everyone will accept who you are

That's why you need to disguise yourself to let the others accept you.

OR

Sometimes your true self is just so ugly that even you yourself couldn't accept it with an opened heart

So you make it up in a way that you think yourself so as the others would accept and like

BUT

The thought that pops up in your mind sometimes just couldn't be expressed directly as they'll horrify or annoy people. 

so I can only disguise myself among these crowds and hardly be myself.

pathetic.

but yet

I don't wanna make any effort to change it

Cause at least

no motivation yet. 

Jeeeeeeez...

Still

I'll walk among these social networks like I always do.

Sorrow

I actually found a glimpse of sorrow inside me today

Tears were shed in church today when Vivian's hands covered mine

and she gave me her blessings

At first I had no idea what she's doing

But as soon she spoken her prayers,

I knew what she's doing.

Where does the sorrow came from?

I'm not exactly sure.

Vivian and Leongyik are leaving soon

One to Russia and one to Canada

It's the sorrow because they're leaving perhaps?

It'll be very difficult for us to meet again when we're all apart from each other.

The world is small yet wide.

Distance between places and coordinates on the map maybe enormous in exact scale

But I do believe that distance between hearts will never be far away when we want it to be so.

By the way

I may seem cruel or realistic or whatever

Or I may be very bad in expressing how much I appreciate a friend who's actually always been around me

I just wanna tell you

It's not that I do not appreciate or care about you

It's just that I always believe that you'll always be there for me

That may let me forget that you need concern too

And I never know that that would hurt you. 

Please forgive me to be such a jerk.

:(

This part is actually dedicated to every friend of mine.

And please forgive me for being such ignorant previously if I did.